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Somethings and Nothings...

So, the last few weeks have been busy, don't ask me what was I up to, as I seriously have no clue. My DH was traveling, was away for about 10 days, and I had to drop and pick up my son to and from school. That was a lil stressful, as the relaxed coffee-newspaper morning went for a toss. But, I chose to ignore all that, as I got a lot of 'ME' time - undisturbed! If I say I felt like a bird out of the cage, free to fly, you may say that am being dramatic, not that I feel caged in my house or my relationship, but sometimes you need that space to totally unwind, introspect and touch base with yourself. And that is exactly what I did.

Plus, I also watched my favourite movies, back to back. I stayed up till 4 am and watched FRIENDS on youtube. I paused the videos, and made myself a cup of sweet adrak wali chai in the middle of the night. I finished reading a lot of books without having to make tea/coffee or just get up for something, In case you are wondering I caught up on my sleep, once my DH was back by the way ;)).

Then the following week, I packed off my son to my parent's place in Bangalore, it was his first independent journey. I was a bundle of nerves, while he seemed to be cool. I couldn't eat until I got a call from my sister that he landed safely and had joined them. Surprisingly, I am not missing him, and when I shared it with some people unknowingly, unintentionally I got branded as an "Uncaring emotionless Mom" and I was shocked, because, that wasn't true. And then I realized, that there was no point in sharing what I truly felt, I wanted to tell them, that I miss his legs on my stomach, at night, when I sleep, and I also miss the way his small fingers would entangle in my hair, that when I wake up in the morning, I do not have anyone tagging along, asking me how can he help me, I miss the constant chattering, the house has suddenly become quiet, but, having said that, I am also making the best out of the peaceful time that I, have right now, as, in 3 weeks, life will be back to routine, and I have a right to take a break from the routine and focus on things that I loved doing but had to put it away, as I couldn't share the attention. It's not worth it actually, as it brings me back to the same point that not many understand, and that is because, those many don't listen, they only hear, and they hear what they want to, so your clear message, emotions will never reach them.






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