So this lil girl came running to her Mother, with excitement, as she stood tall with 2 silver medals and a bronze medal, at her school sports meet.
The Mother, simply asked her, "Why did you not get the gold medal'?, This without a hug, a smile or an acknowledgement. The lil girl's face dropped immediately, and the excitement of winning just sank.
Sadly, I witnessed the whole episode. And also was thoroughly confused, between encouraging and pushing.
If the Mother had said, "Wow!! Well done!! Am so proud of you, next time make that little effort, and you might come first". That probably would have left the child happy and motivated to do better.
Instead, she chose to just dampen the spirits of the child by totally dismissing her efforts.
The one thing that I remember telling my son was to participate, to test your own abilities. Not to win or lose. As that doesn't matter. Somebody has to lose, that is why somebody wins. And I explained further, that it does not mean that you lose all the time. You have to be satisfied with your performance, whether you come first in something or you finish last. Your ability has to be challenged by you, you have to analyze your defeat, once that is done, you will understand what to do and how to go about it.
We live in a crazy world. There is cut-throat competition everywhere. I see a lot of parents, pushing their children crazily, number of days in a week are much lesser than the number of classes some kids attend. It's true that unless you introduce your child to various concepts, you would not know your child's calling and strength,but am sure there's a method, and there's no need for madness.
At school fests and carnivals, or sports meet, these crazy parents, start yelling at their kids, when they don't finish up first. How can all kids finish first? Somebody has to finish second also. This is nothing, go to a birthday party, where games are played for fun, you will parents going crazy there also, the stressed out child, then to please his Crazy nagging Mother, tries to win by hook or crook, thus completely sidelining the fun part. OMG! We really live in a mad mad world. This is the reason, why I do not encourage games at my son's birthday party, I cannot handle the parents. This year also, when the enthu event lady suggested some games, I said I will allow on one condition, that you won't keep a winning target, all kids will get something for their attempts.
Then we have some parents, who usually know a lot more than the Teachers, and who spend more than the allotted time given at a PTM in school. What the hell do you discuss? For so long that you eat up other parents time as well? They give lectures to Teachers on how they should teach, or conduct a class. Excuse me! Theres a reason why that person is there. Yes, I understand that we have Teachers even today, who don't think or blink before raising their hand on a child, or passing a nasty remark. But, to believe that all of them are like that, and need to be lectured is unfair.
Competition is good, competing lets an individual know where he/she stands, in this dog eat dog world, but, can't it be healthy? Do the parents really have to put so much of performance pressure on children? Don't they read about children committing suicides, because they are not able to handle the pressure? With so many counselors and psychologists writing books and articles on child depression and suicides, how come we still have educated parents turning a blind eye to it?
I read a quote once which said, that if everybody competes all their life, how do they learn to live without it?
There will come a time in life, when there's nothing left to compete for, then what will they do?
The early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese
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