One day I had literally nothing to do, so I switched on the tv, and mindlessly surfed the channels: star plus, Sony, colors, zee etc.. And spent about 5 to 10 minutes on each of them, there was a serial on Sony, where the lady of the house, is looking for a 'Sanskaari Bahu'for her US returned son. Son is 'friendly' with a girl whom he met in US and studied with her, she is shown as a Bengali, and she walks into the house dressed in jeans, top, a jacket and stilettos. Obviously, she was looked at with disgust, someone who was not 'Sanskaari' and hence was not fit to be a Bahu of a traditional house which holds its culture and respect on a high pedestal which obviously an educated jeans clad foreign returned girl can't understand, even if she is capable of being a better companion to the son, and is someone who can share his dreams and future. The mother obviously spots a simple girl in a village, who is in a Saree, singing a bhajan. The mother prays to the Almighty for a Bahu like that for her son, she is in a Saree and so she is Sanskaari. Switch to another channel, the Bahu of the house, usually clad in a Saree with the palla taken on her head- its a tradition of showing respect to elders by covering the head, has to fulfill her husband's wish of wearing a churidaar Kurta, for which she needs to seek permission from her in laws, who obviously give her a long lecture on how the females in their house don't dress up obscenely after marriage, she is also taunted by her mother in law about the Sanskaars she has got from her parents. The Bahu walks away with tears in her eyes, and the husband feels guilty for forcing her. She smiles, and later inside the privacy of their bedroom, she wears it for him. Switch to another channel, a middle class girl wearing a salwar- kameez, is sitting inside a boardroom of a corporate for a meeting, she is supposed to be sincere in her work, and the lady who is unscrupulous is shown to be strutting in knee length dresses, eyes are smokey, hair is curly, stiletto again, flicks on the forehead, shiny glossy lips. I don't understand, whoever came up with this idea of differentiating the good girl and not so good girl with Saree and western outfits?
I mean, a girl from a middle class family need not be shown as someone living in a chawl, wearing only suits, how many girls from a middle class family are living in good society flats and dressing up well. If Saree is supposed to make you Sanskaari then why do we have so many dowry deaths? Clearly, the vampish mothers in law are not dressed in western 'modern' outfits while torturing their bahus, the serials show vamps dressed in sarees too, as they churn out one wicked plan after the other. So what happened to Sanskaar? "Clothes maketh a man", goes the popular saying, it's about how you look, how well you dress up, or carry yourself according to your body type. It's not for judging someone's character. Am not against a Saree, it's a beautiful dress, and it's the sexiest Indian wear, but how many of us today take the trouble of wearing a Saree and going about our chores unhindered everyday? A salwar or jeans doesn't make you any less caring, or cultured. Values are what we grow up with, we learn from our elders, we learn it in school, we imbibe that, it doesn't change with our dress. If marriage is about doing certain things which make your partner happy, then, what is wrong in a woman dressing up in a churidaar to fulfill her husband's desire? And moreover why should the mother in law pass nasty remarks about her bahu's parents and upbringing? The fact that she is soliciting her mother in law's permission speaks volumes about her upbringing.
We have women heading the meetings in a boardroom full of men, clad in a crisp starched cotton Saree, clad in business suits, clad in pencil skirts, comfortable in what they are wearing, so is the Saree clad business tycoon Sanskaari or not? Sanskaari because she is wearing the 6 yard or not Sanskaari because instead of stirring the curry with a spatula in the kitchen, she is stirring the growth of her company? Any answers? Through such daily soaps what are we trying to portray? I haven't found my answer yet, but I know it happens in lot of houses, and TV should be a medium in changing people's perspective for the better, not taking them back to primitives. The society should be proud of the fact that the women are making an impact, standing up with the MAN, shouldering responsibilities, taking care of their parents, their inlaws, their kids, multitasking and yet finding time to nurture interests and developing skills like bike riding, adventure sports, some of them probably have more adrenalin rush than men. For once, why can't we have TV serials showcasing women, in a better light, than just endlessly making them cry with loads of glycerine, in the corner of a kitchen. Its either they are crying or plotting. And reality is stark contrast to the soap-ish portrayal.
Somebody once rightly said on a talk show, " Aurat chaand par pahunch gayi, par aaj bhi usko bola jaata hai, tumhara kaam hai khana banana, sasural ki sewa karna"( women have landed on the moon, but they are still rebuked at saying your duty is to cook, and take care of your inlaws and husband). If you find an answer let me know, am a jean clad woman, if you ask my mum she will say I was born in jeans, then I guess, am totally a non Sanskaari person ;)
I mean, a girl from a middle class family need not be shown as someone living in a chawl, wearing only suits, how many girls from a middle class family are living in good society flats and dressing up well. If Saree is supposed to make you Sanskaari then why do we have so many dowry deaths? Clearly, the vampish mothers in law are not dressed in western 'modern' outfits while torturing their bahus, the serials show vamps dressed in sarees too, as they churn out one wicked plan after the other. So what happened to Sanskaar? "Clothes maketh a man", goes the popular saying, it's about how you look, how well you dress up, or carry yourself according to your body type. It's not for judging someone's character. Am not against a Saree, it's a beautiful dress, and it's the sexiest Indian wear, but how many of us today take the trouble of wearing a Saree and going about our chores unhindered everyday? A salwar or jeans doesn't make you any less caring, or cultured. Values are what we grow up with, we learn from our elders, we learn it in school, we imbibe that, it doesn't change with our dress. If marriage is about doing certain things which make your partner happy, then, what is wrong in a woman dressing up in a churidaar to fulfill her husband's desire? And moreover why should the mother in law pass nasty remarks about her bahu's parents and upbringing? The fact that she is soliciting her mother in law's permission speaks volumes about her upbringing.
We have women heading the meetings in a boardroom full of men, clad in a crisp starched cotton Saree, clad in business suits, clad in pencil skirts, comfortable in what they are wearing, so is the Saree clad business tycoon Sanskaari or not? Sanskaari because she is wearing the 6 yard or not Sanskaari because instead of stirring the curry with a spatula in the kitchen, she is stirring the growth of her company? Any answers? Through such daily soaps what are we trying to portray? I haven't found my answer yet, but I know it happens in lot of houses, and TV should be a medium in changing people's perspective for the better, not taking them back to primitives. The society should be proud of the fact that the women are making an impact, standing up with the MAN, shouldering responsibilities, taking care of their parents, their inlaws, their kids, multitasking and yet finding time to nurture interests and developing skills like bike riding, adventure sports, some of them probably have more adrenalin rush than men. For once, why can't we have TV serials showcasing women, in a better light, than just endlessly making them cry with loads of glycerine, in the corner of a kitchen. Its either they are crying or plotting. And reality is stark contrast to the soap-ish portrayal.
Somebody once rightly said on a talk show, " Aurat chaand par pahunch gayi, par aaj bhi usko bola jaata hai, tumhara kaam hai khana banana, sasural ki sewa karna"( women have landed on the moon, but they are still rebuked at saying your duty is to cook, and take care of your inlaws and husband). If you find an answer let me know, am a jean clad woman, if you ask my mum she will say I was born in jeans, then I guess, am totally a non Sanskaari person ;)
Loved it :-)
ReplyDeleteThank you Moumita :)
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