I have been celebrating my son's birthday ever since he turned 3.
I hosted his first birthday party - with his lil friends and their parents, it was a dinner party, showy with a Tom and Jerry theme etc.. So everything - from the decorations to the cake, to the return gifts, everything was T&J. Party over, lil goody bags handed to tiny tots who came from his nursery group.
4th birthday party - The venue was Pizza Corner, we booked the whole place for couple of hours, the Mamas and their kids were invited, the kids had a ball of a time playing inside the cube, had pizzas, beverages, cake etc.. It was McQueen theme, so from the cake to the return gifts, it was all themed.
5th birthday party - Ice Age theme, guests were asked to wear a blue and white combination to match up the theme. It was a dinner party, this was more elaborate, there was a games coordinator, a tattoo artist, a sketch artist, a balloon moulding guy, a photographer, the cake, the cut outs, the return gifts, all matched to the theme.
6th birthday party - This time thankfully, my son didnt torture me with any theme, he infact wanted a T&J cake. Things were a little easy as I didn't have to pick up return gifts to match any theme.
7th birthday party - Chota Bheem, was the sensation, so started my ordeal, again! From the decor to everything, that particular character.
8th birthday party - My son wanted an animals theme first, but not 'Jungle book', just some random animals, a mix of domestic and wild. We couldn't manage everything in that, so we changed it to Ben10. The return gifts were promptly bought, Ben10 for boys, and some Princess/Barbie stuff for girls. After the party ended, I told my son very seriously, that I am not celebrating any more birthday parties like this. I am tired.
My husband, who has always complimented me for the planning and execution, for all these parties, was also stunned.
I then told him, not told him, poured out my bottled feelings. The 'RETURN GIFTS' were a big torture. I said, I don't remember coming out of a birthday party with return gifts when I was small. We would dress up in pretty, frilly, lacy frocks, with matching accessories, and walk proudly as an invitee to the child's party, give the gift, eat the cake and chips, and some snacks prepared at home, and come back. Slowly, when the trend started changing, some families would give us some toffees/candies to take back home. We would come back and share it with our siblings, and we were happy and satisfied with those tiny candies.
And...Now????
Organizing a birthday party has become an ordeal. Here, you want to celebrate your child's birthday with his friends, a theme to match. Think of a new one every year. Yes, there are events people available to help you out for a sum of money, but, you have to go through the tiring task, of discussing, re-discussing, reminding, checking, some are so dumb that in times of crisis, you are expected to come up with solutions after paying them money for taking away the task from your shoulders. I am still ready to do that, because, that seems like a minuscule task infront of the Herculean task of buying return gifts.
While I understand, that for a child, the excitement of return gifts, lasts only for few seconds or minutes, what I don't understand is the reaction of the parents. This puts me back in the same dilemma, what is parenting all about? First, they complain about dying values, then when they get an opportunity to instill some, they fail miserably.
If a guest walks in with a b'day gift for 5oo bucks, is the host supposed to match the amount when she is giving a return gift?
Isn't return gift a gesture, a way of saying 'thank you' for attending a b'day party? Don't the games, the drinks, the food, the mingling around, having fun matter? I can understand a child getting upset about a return gift, I have had my son sulking, when he got a story book as a return gift, at a party, because he already had that. I could have sulked with him, gossiped with my son, telling him that they should have thought about it, instead I made my child understand that it's just an acknowledgement, it's a way of saying thank you. How will somebody know what you have?
I am appalled at some of the adults/parents these days, they actually gossip about the return gifts, some even have the audacity to walk up to the host and tell her that her kid didn't like the return gift. What if the host was to turn around and say, my kid didn't like your gift?
In all the birthday parties that I hosted in all theses years, I have tried my best to be innovative, I have toiled and made things, went around the city hunting for stuff, selected gifts to suit a child's personality, whether there were 20 kids or more, I have categorized according to the age, gender, likes etc... And now am tired, not because the kids are not satisfied, but because I cannot satisfy parents, who are not ready to change their mindsets, and are passing the same to their kids - unfortunately.
As I bring the blog to an end, my son suggests that next year it should be a Pirates theme, and YES, I have given him that scornful Pirates look also...
I hosted his first birthday party - with his lil friends and their parents, it was a dinner party, showy with a Tom and Jerry theme etc.. So everything - from the decorations to the cake, to the return gifts, everything was T&J. Party over, lil goody bags handed to tiny tots who came from his nursery group.
4th birthday party - The venue was Pizza Corner, we booked the whole place for couple of hours, the Mamas and their kids were invited, the kids had a ball of a time playing inside the cube, had pizzas, beverages, cake etc.. It was McQueen theme, so from the cake to the return gifts, it was all themed.
5th birthday party - Ice Age theme, guests were asked to wear a blue and white combination to match up the theme. It was a dinner party, this was more elaborate, there was a games coordinator, a tattoo artist, a sketch artist, a balloon moulding guy, a photographer, the cake, the cut outs, the return gifts, all matched to the theme.
6th birthday party - This time thankfully, my son didnt torture me with any theme, he infact wanted a T&J cake. Things were a little easy as I didn't have to pick up return gifts to match any theme.
7th birthday party - Chota Bheem, was the sensation, so started my ordeal, again! From the decor to everything, that particular character.
8th birthday party - My son wanted an animals theme first, but not 'Jungle book', just some random animals, a mix of domestic and wild. We couldn't manage everything in that, so we changed it to Ben10. The return gifts were promptly bought, Ben10 for boys, and some Princess/Barbie stuff for girls. After the party ended, I told my son very seriously, that I am not celebrating any more birthday parties like this. I am tired.
My husband, who has always complimented me for the planning and execution, for all these parties, was also stunned.
I then told him, not told him, poured out my bottled feelings. The 'RETURN GIFTS' were a big torture. I said, I don't remember coming out of a birthday party with return gifts when I was small. We would dress up in pretty, frilly, lacy frocks, with matching accessories, and walk proudly as an invitee to the child's party, give the gift, eat the cake and chips, and some snacks prepared at home, and come back. Slowly, when the trend started changing, some families would give us some toffees/candies to take back home. We would come back and share it with our siblings, and we were happy and satisfied with those tiny candies.
And...Now????
Organizing a birthday party has become an ordeal. Here, you want to celebrate your child's birthday with his friends, a theme to match. Think of a new one every year. Yes, there are events people available to help you out for a sum of money, but, you have to go through the tiring task, of discussing, re-discussing, reminding, checking, some are so dumb that in times of crisis, you are expected to come up with solutions after paying them money for taking away the task from your shoulders. I am still ready to do that, because, that seems like a minuscule task infront of the Herculean task of buying return gifts.
While I understand, that for a child, the excitement of return gifts, lasts only for few seconds or minutes, what I don't understand is the reaction of the parents. This puts me back in the same dilemma, what is parenting all about? First, they complain about dying values, then when they get an opportunity to instill some, they fail miserably.
If a guest walks in with a b'day gift for 5oo bucks, is the host supposed to match the amount when she is giving a return gift?
Isn't return gift a gesture, a way of saying 'thank you' for attending a b'day party? Don't the games, the drinks, the food, the mingling around, having fun matter? I can understand a child getting upset about a return gift, I have had my son sulking, when he got a story book as a return gift, at a party, because he already had that. I could have sulked with him, gossiped with my son, telling him that they should have thought about it, instead I made my child understand that it's just an acknowledgement, it's a way of saying thank you. How will somebody know what you have?
I am appalled at some of the adults/parents these days, they actually gossip about the return gifts, some even have the audacity to walk up to the host and tell her that her kid didn't like the return gift. What if the host was to turn around and say, my kid didn't like your gift?
In all the birthday parties that I hosted in all theses years, I have tried my best to be innovative, I have toiled and made things, went around the city hunting for stuff, selected gifts to suit a child's personality, whether there were 20 kids or more, I have categorized according to the age, gender, likes etc... And now am tired, not because the kids are not satisfied, but because I cannot satisfy parents, who are not ready to change their mindsets, and are passing the same to their kids - unfortunately.
As I bring the blog to an end, my son suggests that next year it should be a Pirates theme, and YES, I have given him that scornful Pirates look also...
So cute of PM... I understand its tough to put up any function at home.. I don't know that return gifts is a strict policy to be followed. As far as I remember those days having a bite of the birthday cake was the best return gift :-)
ReplyDeleteI remember the beautiful and simple cakes, with vanilla cream and strawberry icing, or blackforest, or a chocolate cake with silver balls. They used to be the yummiest. Cakes themselves have gone through a major makeover..Sigh!
ReplyDeleteI agree with you on this. Return gifts make it impossible to live up. We need to stop it and say thank you for coming here and that thank you is our return gift.
ReplyDelete