So, here I am, back to base. My birth place, New Delhi. 8 years ago, I walked out of the city, with some dreams and apprehensions, must say settled happily in B'lore. "you are going back to your own city", people said, when I Shared my thoughts of moving back. I am still not very sure, if am happy to be back here, or if it's too early for me to decide. Life started here, this is the city which made me what I am today. Fearless. Forthright. So what is it that is stopping me from embracing it again? Is it the fact that my parents, my sister, my adorable lil niece are all down south? Or is it the flashback of certain ugly episodes that happened few years ago? I wish I could place my finger on one thing and make up my mind. Sitting by the balcony of a multi-storeyed building,when I look out I only see clusters of towers, it feels as if they are closing on me, I feel choked, I close my eyes to create space in my mind. And as I do that, I also pray quietly, for peace and well being of my loved ones.
A friend walked in, to have coffee, her house also is empty by 8 and so is mine. So sometimes, we catch up for our lil tete-a-tete over coffee. Talking about coffee, I have turned the American way, I now prefer black coffee to white. Well, the first cuppa is with milk. Her Mum is an amazing baker, she had sent homemade peanut butter cookies. So, my neighbour was generous enough to get some for me. I made the famous South Indian filter coffee, and we plonked ourselves on the couch. She seemed a lil disturbed, so after a lot of prodding, she finally asked me if I thought she was obsessive about being perfect. So I instantly said Yes! And she was shocked, she said how could I have known that about her, as I have known her only for few months. So I laughingly pointed out at certain incidents and told her that I have a penchant for observing people and their mannerisms, and I can't help it. We laughed, then she asked, but what's wrong in doing things perfectly? I told her nothing, ...
I know what it feels rooting from your comfort zone... but thats life and this phase will also pass...joining with you in prayers for your loved ones...
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