Random nothings!

I was having my coffee in the morning as usual, when I saw the caption 'time flies'. That set me thinking. Checked the date, and couldn't believe that there were just 5 days left for 2012 to end. Phew!  Well, it's cliched, because every year, I say the same thing. I desperately wanted 2011, to end slowly, as the arrival of 2012 meant that I would have to leave Bangalore, but obviously, we do not have control over time. So 2012 came, I moved, and I am still settling in so to say, and now it's time to welcome another year. Thank God for surviving one more year. This is one prayer that I always say every year. New Year, new beginnings, so I guess I have to wait and watch what 2013 has in store for me. In the meanwhile, I will draw up my list of resolutions - that is a ritual, and I love to do it every year. I do not stick to the list, so this time, losing weight is definitely NOT there, though I still have to work on my water intake. I am worse than a camel when it com

Pia walked in to their 3 bedroom apartment and was surprised to see Rohan. "You back early!", she said, as she kissed him. "Coffee?", she nodded and went into the bedroom to change, "this is the right opportunity to break the news", she thought. She took out the file from her bag, changed and went to the living room, where Rohan was waiting with two cups of coffee. She was smiling, and she said, "I have to tell you something". "Oh! I have to tell you something too, but you go first", said Rohan tucking her hair behind her ear lovingly. She came closer and whispered, "Roh, I am pregnant, you are going to be a father". Rohan hugged her, and while his arms were around her, he told her, "I am sorry Pia, I cannot father a child, my sperm count is less than low, but good luck to you and the father of this child". She suddenly felt dizzy. She heard him take out a suitcase and pack his stuff.

Tanvi stepped out of the shower, applied moisturiser liberally, it was the beginning of December, the weather was dry and chilly. She picked out a faded pair of Tommy Hilfiger jeans, a Vero Moda warm top, threw over a wrap to complete her look. She was an attractive 25 year old. As she opened her watch box, she was amazed at her collection, she picked up a Fossil to coordinate, as she wore it around, her thoughts wandered to her simple life in Pune. The journey from their till Delhi, was tough, filled with sacrifices rather compromises. She always craved for a fancy lifestyle as a kid, she got everything today, but, at a cost. Her eyes were moist, and she quickly dabbed away with a tissue. Applied mascara, took her car keys and waited for the lift. She hardly knew anyone on her floor, while she waited, she saw Naina walking with her daughter tucked in the pram. She was the only lady she recognised and spoke to. Naina looked at her, and then herself, for a new mother with a 3 month old

I a a very weird person. I am not gifted, don't consider myself to be special, not very talented. Though I am a happy go lucky kinda person, I also believe in living and accepting my emotions. If things hurt me, I get upset. I can't just immediately brush it off saying, "it's okay" and even if I do, I don't mean it. It has been like this for a very long time, I have tried, really hard but there is  part of me which doesn't let go easily, the wrongs stay in my head - subconscious mind forever. Yes, I forgive. I forgive people who hurt me, broke my trust, cheated me, lied to me. But, frankly, I do mope. I cannot bring myself to put everything behind and move on. While I do move on physically, but that stuff stays. It just stays, I do not harbor vengeance, I do not nurture intentions or spite of paying them back, but I get upset when I see them praising themselves without any conscience. I suffer from this problem, and it pains me to see such people making fu

So, my laptop konked off. And took a long time to repair. I have a desktop, also the famous iPad, but the relationship that I have developed with my cute lil laptop over the years can't be put into words. It was easy for me to find a spot, and just write away or surf away. Had become very lazy to plonk myself in front of the desktop, though its in a perfect corner of a room filled with books. Anyway, am back with my lil laptop, banging on the keyboard happily ;). Recently I started watching Big Boss, a reality show where, they bring in celebrities - most of them in need of a image lift, and some of them jobless. All of them have to spend few weeks together in a house as per the show format and rules, they are not allowed to establish any kind of contact with the outside world. They need to cook and clean, and do other tasks as per the orders of that 'Big Boss' who's not seen, only heard. There are cameras all around the house, and the viewers get to watch the fun. There

Sometimes when I look at my life, i wonder if this is how I thought it would be.... Checking detergent, putting out laundry, buying groceries.... But, when I turn around and take a moment to look at my journey so far, i thank God.

I wait for my favourite festival every year, and then it's just over so soon. I don't like the crackers though. Diwali is one festival that I love to celebrate.  Everybody knows the mythological reason for Diwali. Children are told stories about the epic battle between Rama and Ravana, and the celebration is for the victorious return of Rama..blah..blah.. My son also knows it, his school also staged a play on that. Lighting the diyas, and putting up the fairy lights few days before the festival are the things that make me happy. My son joins me, in lighting the diyas and candles. Yeah! And am not getting into any gender battles here, as long as the kid participates in everything it's fine. It doesn't matter whether the kid is a boy or girl. While we were lighting the diyas, my son narrated the story of Ramayana, the part where Rama returns to Ayodhya. He said, it's the triumph of good over evil. All the monsters are killed as they are evil. I explained to a 7 year o

A friend walked in, to have coffee, her house also is empty by 8 and so is mine. So sometimes, we catch up for our lil tete-a-tete over coffee. Talking about coffee, I have turned the American way, I now prefer black coffee to white. Well, the first cuppa is with milk. Her Mum is an amazing baker, she had sent homemade peanut butter cookies. So, my neighbour was generous enough to get some for me. I made the famous South Indian filter coffee, and we plonked ourselves on the couch. She seemed a lil disturbed, so after a lot of prodding, she finally asked me if I thought she was obsessive about being perfect. So I instantly said Yes! And she was shocked, she said how could I have known that about her, as I have known her only for few months. So I laughingly pointed out at certain incidents and told her that I have a penchant for observing people and their mannerisms, and I can't help it. We laughed, then she asked, but what's wrong in doing things perfectly? I told her nothing, i

You can explain some relationships to some people... You can't explain all relationships to all people, You can't explain some relationships to all people... Irony of life, you struggle to understand some relationships yourself. They are complicated, they twist your life, your comfort zone. Yet they become an important part of your life. You can't tell everyone, as they won't understand. They will judge you, they will give you names, which will hurt you. Silence seems to be the safest option. A smile hides all your feelings. Avoids a lot of questions. So keep smiling :)

It was 'karwa-chauth' few days ago. When I went to pick up my son from school, I saw the other Mums, dressed in reds, pinks, magentas, all decked up, with mehendi laden hands. As I walked into the the waiting area, I could feel, 10 pairs of eyes staring at me, I turned, and I could even see the question mark clearly on their foreheads. I smiled and finished my courtesies, while preparing myself to answer the bombardment of questions which were to follow soon. As expected, one asked, "Aaj bhi jeans mein'? Yeah people find it very amusing, when they see me in jeans all the time. Ask my Mum, she will say, if I had my way, I would have born wearing one. Anyway, that's another story, and I will dedicate a page to my love for denims ;). So, I asked her, "Kyun, aaj kuch special hai kya"? (not that I didn't know, but sometimes you can feign ignorance, it's fun). She said, today is karwa - chauth, and I told her that in southern India, we don't have &#

Rohan checked his reflection in the mirror, clean shaven he was a dapper tonight, he smiled. His thoughts were interrupted by the sales lady, "Sir, your item is ready, it will be 25000/. Would you be paying by cash or card?" "Card", he said. He collected his packet and got into his car, waiting at the signal, he glided his hand on the velvet case. "She is gonna love it", he said it aloud in the privacy of his sedan.  He was dying to be in her arms tonight, and hear those magical words. He laughed, for thinking like a teenager. Nisha's intercom beeped, the guard informed her of Rohan's arrival. she checked herself for one last time in the mirror, sprayed her chanel, and went to the door. Rohan walked in with a bunch of flowers, and gave her the velvet box. A beautiful diamond studded pendant with a gold chain. She blushed, as he offered to string it around her neck, his hand brushed her bare shoulders, she shivered. She looked in his eyes, as he car

Diwali is around the corner, my favourite festival :). Loads of stuff to be done. _______________________________________________________________ Went to Dharamshala, had been wanting to visit that hill station for quite some time now. Dreamy break, hogged, slept, shopped! Perfect :) _______________________________________________________________ Getting addicted to the Tulsi green tea from Organic India.  _______________________________________________________________ Wearing a skirt doesn't make you modern, and wearing a salwar doesn't make you a behenji. It's your mentality that matters. ___________________________________ I hold my own forte, whatever the situation be... ________________________________________________________________ I am very bad at masking an expression, I get a scolding all the time, for a clear expression at the most inappropriate places :(

I hate opening the newspaper, besides the news of the screwed up condition of Indian politics, the only other thing you get to read is torture inflicted on women. Rapes, gang rapes, molestation, suicides - forced to commit suicide rather, sexual harassment at workplace, blackmail, phew! And if all this is not enough, jilted lovers either committing suicide and blaming the girl for not reciprocating his feelings, even though he is a wayward, good -for- nothing fellow or spurned lovers on a killing spree. You don't need to watch a hard hitting Anurag Kashyap or Prakash Jha movie. Open the damn paper, its all there - LIVE!! Then you have the 'Moral police' brigade - Ram Senas and Shiv Senas, who have taken it upon themselves to sanctify the society by blaming the women. Pubs were attacked, as they said, in our 'culture' women should not be dancing or clubbing.  So, the punishment is face the rape?? What is wrong with few friends getting together and dancing? This we ar

So, the weather is changing. No, cyclone hasn't hit this part of the globe. It's the winter season, setting in. When I stood in the balcony at 6 in the morning, could feel the mist and the dew, but the most fascinating part was that wintry smell in the air, fresh and pure.  I just wanted to sit there with my laptop, and my coffee, but had to wait for my DH and DK to leave the house. Finally, got the opportunity, to relax and sit back, after finishing some of the chores. Gurgaon - it's a concrete jungle, but, if you are on a top floor say 4th and above, then you get to catch a glimpse of the sky, sun etc... It's been 8 months, since I moved. Trying to brace this city, as much as I can.  Colourful people around, some are loud and boisterous, some are plain and simple, some are mean and nasty, some are smart asses. Getting to know them is also fun.  Festive cheer all around, Delhi is decked up like a newly wed Punjabi bride. That spirit is what I have missed in 8 years. Sh

From now on most of my blog titles are going to be 'snippets'. Running out of titles, phew! Watched English Vinglish yesterday. A nice movie. Sridevi, wow! What a comeback!! Its a story about a simple Maharashtrian middle class girl, who has never studied English. Her husband and daughter keep taunting her, mother in law is supportive. Daughter gets upset when the mother has to accompany her for a PTM in the school, and shouts at her for talking to her teacher in Hindi. She runs a small business from home, of making laddus. She has a bagful of loyal clients, who admire and appreciate her talent. Sadly, her family doesn't appreciate her talent and as usual takes her for granted. A chance trip to US changes her life forever. There are portions, where we as housewives can relate to. I could. I loved the last set of dialogues, where she talks about marriage. Marriage is a relationship where both the spouses are 'equals', where no one is judgmental, where both of them re

Came across this beautiful write up by Bob Marley, really really wanted to share... Only once in your life, I truly believe, you find someone who can completely turn your world around. You tell them things that you’ve never shared with another soul and they absorb everything you say and actually want to hear more. You share hopes for the future, dreams that will never come true, goals that were never achieved and the many disappointments life has thrown at you. When something wonderful happens, you can’t wait to tell them about it, knowing they will share in your excitement. They are not embarrassed to cry with you when you are hurting or laugh with you when you make a fool of yourself. Never do they hurt your feelings or make you feel like you are not good enough, but rather they build you up and show you the things about yourself that make you special and even beautiful. There is never any pressure, jealousy or competition but only a quiet calmness when they are around. You can be yo

Rains!! What's so special about the drops falling from above? I keep wondering all the time. Honestly, to the extent of sounding cynical, I don't like getting drenched in rain, neither am I interested in the conventional chai and pakodas. I would rather be indoors, make a cuppa coffee, and put my feet up. You guys thinking I am the only silly soul to be thinking like this? Nope, there are few more 'silly' people like me.  Rains are refreshing for sure, especially after a prolonged heat wave and a terribly dusty summer in Delhi. But, come on guys, it has to stop also.  A neighbour remarked, "Wow!! Rains...so romantic, sigh!" And I kept thinking romantic???? Please, dirty, muddy roads, chaotic traffic, non functional traffic signals, the bedrooms get converted into dhobi ghats, the damp smell on clothes..yuck!!! I couldn't dare to voice my negative thoughts in front of people who were actually looking at rains wearing rose tinted glasses. All said and done,

Had a long chat with my school friend few days back, must admit, skyping is fun and economical. We were musing about our school days, the fun we had, teasing the boys especially, playing pranks on fellow classmates and teachers, the dreadful Math, boring social studies so on and so forth. Felt really nice to connect, though, after that I was surrounded by the horrible monster called 'guilt' for a while, as I realized rather recollected how I have hurt few people. There were promises that were not kept. Decisions taken impulsively, not realizing how it would have affected someone. Actions that must have altered lives. In those growing up years, the adrenaline rush is at its peak I guess, so much that the brain stops functioning properly. Life for everyone would have been easy, if there was a rewind button, alas! not there. I can't go back and erase the bad instances from the minds of the people I hurt then, though I desperately wish I could. Today, as I write this stuff, I a

After packing off her 5-year-old son, Akul to school, Ria sat down with her morning cuppa and a writing pad. She started off with "Dear Adi" and paused, her eyes brimmed with tears, drops which fell on the paper. Last week, again the argument had gone out of bounds, she looked at her arm, the marks were still there as proof of the violent fight that ensued between them. Yesterday was her 8th anniversary, Aditya was obviously reeling under the guilt of having hit her, his rough, dry hands left marks on her face and arm. She covered up saying, that it was an allergy caused by a new cream. She covered her arms with tops with long sleeves. She had had enough of this marriage. She wanted to part ways, go away, start a new life. Being financially independent helped. Thank God, she didn't quit her job after Akul was born, her company gave her the flexibility to work from home, a reward for her loyalty for sticking around in the organization. There was a flurry of emotions, she c

Opened my blog, no idea what to write, kept staring at the screen for a while, finally came up with a heading for it. Then stared at the screen again. Basically, am not in a proper frame of mind, mood swings? NO, PMS?? NO. But am upset. Had called a friend cum neighbour in the afternoon, who lived just opposite to my house in the previous locality, the minute she picked up the phone, she asked "anything important?", What happened to phone courtesies? And can't you call someone because you just want to speak to that person? Am I over reacting? Was it always like this? A child walks into the house with my son to play, the maids come running after him, instructed by the kid's mother, and fuss over him with a bottle of water, juice, bananas, and I looked on cluelessly.  Don't I have water in my house? I use a good RO system, which is serviced periodically, don't I have juice in my house? Don't I have bananas in my house? More importantly, don't I have a ki

So another year, one more birthday gone by. There's something special about this day isn't it? As kids, we look forward to this day, when we are dressed in pattu pavadai in the morning, the customary visit to the temple, payasam lunch, namaskaarams to elders and gifts in cash or kind. Then in the evening, the pavadai is replaced with a lacy frilly frock, in pink and white, friends come to a decorated house to wish you and celebrate your day with gifts. Cake is cut and served, and you feel special. As we grow up, the customary visits to temple become a rarity, as you need to be in college, or school or work. Instead of frilly dresses, we wear something more sober, there are no parties held at home, friends want you to treat them somewhere else. Then as years go by, when you have a husband and a kid, your own birthday excitement takes a back seat, you are busy planning your kid's birthday, or a surprise for your husband. Nobody plans it for you. Friends write on FB, the ca

The Emirates flight to Dubai was re-scheduled to 10:30 pm due to 'technical snag', said the lady behind the counter, quite uncaring for a Customer 'care' executive, with an acid tongue and cold eyes, fancy title used these days to shoo away customers.  "Humph!!" muttered  Anushka. She looked at her watch, three more hours, she walked around terminal 11B, went to the Crossword book shop zone, started browsing the best sellers, "Will pick up something light, no heavy stuff", she thought.  After paying the bill, she walked up to the Barista counter, and ordered a black coffee, she looked around spotted a place away from the crowd, and started with the book, when suddenly, "Hi Anu", she looked up, it was Tarun, her classmate fro St. Mary's, suave, handsome, spoilt brat of rich parents. She stood up, "Hi" she said."Wow, you have changed, you looked different in school" said Tarun.  She smiled,"I know what you mean&qu

One day I had literally nothing to do, so I switched on the tv, and mindlessly surfed the channels: star plus, Sony, colors, zee etc.. And spent about 5 to 10 minutes on each of them, there was a serial on Sony, where the lady of the house, is looking for a 'Sanskaari Bahu'for her US returned son. Son is 'friendly' with a girl whom he met in US and studied with her, she is shown as a Bengali, and she walks into the house dressed in jeans, top, a jacket and stilettos. Obviously, she was looked at with disgust, someone who was not 'Sanskaari' and hence was not fit to be a Bahu of a traditional house which holds its culture and respect on a high pedestal which obviously an educated jeans clad foreign returned girl can't understand, even if she is capable of being a better companion to the son, and is someone who can share his dreams and future. The mother obviously spots a simple girl in a village, who is in a Saree, singing a bhajan. The mother prays to th

My cook is a bubbly, chirpy Bengali lady. She must be as old as me, or maybe a lil younger. She comes twice a day, and goes about her work, cutting, chopping, frying, clanking the pans in between. She cooks in about 10 houses, twice a day.  Her nimbu pani is to die for, and its the ideal thing in the dirty, humid summer of Delhi. I look forward to 11am, when she walks in I say 'good morning' with a smile. One thing that is constant on her face is her smile. Off late she has started opening up, she talks about her kids- a 14 year old daughter and a 7 year old son. She got married very early. She works hard because she wants her kids, especially her daughter to study, and not meet the fate as hers, daughter is intelligent, goes to good school, and has now got 100% scholarship because of her excellent grades.  She spends one hour in my house, and for that one hour, am also in the kitchen, drinking nimbu pani, which she happily makes, wiping the sweat, talking to her, doing a lil b

So, here I am, back to base. My birth place, New Delhi. 8 years ago, I walked out of the city, with some dreams and apprehensions, must say settled happily in B'lore. "you are going back to your own city", people said, when I Shared my thoughts of moving back. I am still not very sure, if am happy to be back here, or if it's too early for me to decide. Life started here, this is the city which made me what I am today. Fearless. Forthright. So what is it that is stopping me from embracing it again? Is it the fact that my parents, my sister, my adorable lil niece are all down south? Or is it the flashback of certain ugly episodes that happened few years ago? I wish I could place my finger on one thing and make up my mind. Sitting by the balcony of a multi-storeyed building,when I look out I only see clusters of towers, it feels as if they are closing on me, I feel choked, I close my eyes to create space in my mind. And as I do that, I also pray quietly, for peace and we

So, the site surveyor came today, from the packing company, which is responsible for our re-location. He surveyed the house, made a list of things that need to packed, while he was doing that, I went through a plethora of emotions. About 3 years and 11 months ago, we moved into this villa. The villa that became my identity of sorts, the villa that became my 'home'. Witnessed the foundation, the first pillar, the roof, the frame of the window, we spent six months in deciding the decor, everything had to be coordinated. Designed the interiors myself, I really do take pride in it, I just went about with my instincts and yes I do have a decent taste for stuff, and an eye for detail, and NO I won't be modest about it. Different people had different view, some said the living room could have been bigger, square etc..., but as it's said to each their own. I didn't bother about opinions, for me my home was my dream come true. After the surveyor left, I was quite emotional,