Random nothings!

Read yet another article on "how to be a PERFECT Mother"?, I am seriously tired of such articles, columns, books on "how to's". "Perfect Mother' is actually an oxymoron, because if all people are unique and they have their personality traits and quirks, how can there be anyone who is perfect? My idea of perfection will clash with another's concept of perfection.  My right will be wrong for someone else, and vice versa. The article said "Be your own kind of Mom" and then it gives you "tips".. Am thoroughly confused, because, if I have to be my own kind, would I follow my instincts or will I remember someone else's TIPS?? The world that we are living in, and are bringing up our children in is not a safe place anymore, we are technologically advanced, and morally just going backward. Pick up the damn newspaper any day, from the first page till you reach the Business and sports column, it's all about crimes. I ha

Phew!! Finally, sitting and sipping my coffee peacefully, while ranting the usuals on my page ;).. Haven't done this in a long time., the combo of coffee and blog, as it used to happen earlier. When I sit and look back at the days that went by, it seems as if it was some, 'fulfill your child's desire' month. All along October, that is what has been happening. First there was a Halloween party, as I couldn't arrange it last year, I gave the invites to my son's friends and their Mums in the first week of October, so that they could block the day. I had to work on the party menu, goody bags, candies, the costume etc.. While doing all this, I suddenly thought of telling the Mums to come dressed in black, to just add a lil bit of fun, as I had told them that the kids can dress up as any of their fav character, not necessary to come as someone scary. We wore black, and decided to wear the devil bands with it. It went off well, and I had a beaming son, :).

So this lil girl came running to her Mother, with excitement, as she stood tall with 2 silver medals and a bronze medal, at her school sports meet. The Mother, simply asked her, "Why did you not get the gold medal'?, This without a hug, a smile or an acknowledgement. The lil girl's face dropped immediately, and the excitement of winning just sank. Sadly, I witnessed the whole episode. And also was thoroughly confused, between encouraging and pushing. If the Mother had said, "Wow!! Well done!! Am so proud of you, next time make that little effort, and you might come first". That probably would have left the child happy and motivated to do better. Instead, she chose to just dampen the spirits of the child by totally dismissing her efforts.  The one thing that I remember telling my son was to participate, to test your own abilities. Not to win or lose. As that doesn't matter. Somebody has to lose, that is why somebody wins. And I explained further, t

Some interactions jolt you out of your thought process, just when you are getting comfortable in your cocoon of thoughts.. My son goes to the park in our secured condo every evening, recently, I also went down, as the weather was good, which is quite a surprise in a city like Delhi (Gurgaon).  My son was playing, and I was just walking around, enjoying the breeze when I saw a lady, must be in her early forties, distributing candies to the children in the park, she walked up to me, and gave me also some candies, I thanked her and asked her what's the occasion?, She told me it was her son's birthday, I asked her to show me who the child was, while scanning a group of boys, so that I could wish him. She just smiled and pointed a finger towards the sky, and said, please wish him in your prayers, he is no more. I was shocked, not because, that this was the first time I had heard about a child's death, but this was the first time I had met a parent who had lost a child,

The weather was gloomy, or was it just her mood, Shreya couldn't decide. She finished her breakfast, gave her Pilates a miss, and then made her cup of tea, with lots of sugar, her instructor would have given her a "if looks could kill" looks, if she got to know that Shreya was adding empty calories to her body. In the figure department, Shreya didn't have to worry much, she still had her slim waistline in place, and by now was used to the "You don't look like a Mother of a 5 year old" line, and she always wondered, how does someone 'look' like a Mother? Brushing off these thoughts, she walked to the balcony with her cup tea, infused with ginger and pepper. She was just looking out in the horizon, when her nosy neighbour, Pallavi spotted her, from her balcony, "Hey! not taken bath yet? Howcome?", Shreya politely smiled, thinking why is she bothered about her bath? They lived in a upscale condo in Benson Town in Bangalore, they had bough

Why do we always say, that we need a partner who is intelligent, caring, loving, someone who grew up with values, respectful, fun loving, loves to travel, helps around the house, blah blah blah? Why we never say that, we will be caring, loving, patient, respectful etc...etc... to them?? It's a perspective ;).. Perspective : If you don't give your child an ice cream cone fearing that he will spill and spoil his clothes, how will he ever learn?

Those of you who have watched FRIENDS can easily remember Monica Geller, the obsessive compulsive woman, who wants everything perfect, she is so crazy that she even remembers the exact position and the design of each fridge magnet. There is also a Thanksgiving episode, in which she takes out her fine China crockery, and keeps insisting that everybody eats carefully, and someone even calls her the 'crazy plate lady'.  While we laughed and enjoyed her craziness, if you look around, you will actually come across some weird Monicas, I have met many like that, and needless to say I have been amused. Just this morning, I was reading the newspaper, where the rain water found it's way into some houses, due to bad drainage system and water logging. There was a lady, who complained about her 'Persian rug' worth 20k, getting damaged, I was just about to sigh and empathize, when I read her next statement, which said, that she didn't even allow anyone to step on it wit

So, the last few weeks have been busy, don't ask me what was I up to, as I seriously have no clue. My DH was traveling, was away for about 10 days, and I had to drop and pick up my son to and from school. That was a lil stressful, as the relaxed coffee-newspaper morning went for a toss. But, I chose to ignore all that, as I got a lot of 'ME' time - undisturbed! If I say I felt like a bird out of the cage, free to fly, you may say that am being dramatic, not that I feel caged in my house or my relationship, but sometimes you need that space to totally unwind, introspect and touch base with yourself. And that is exactly what I did. Plus, I also watched my favourite movies, back to back. I stayed up till 4 am and watched FRIENDS on youtube. I paused the videos, and made myself a cup of sweet adrak wali chai in the middle of the night. I finished reading a lot of books without having to make tea/coffee or just get up for something, In case you are wondering I caught up on my

For the last few days, I open my blog, view it, read my friends posts and then sign out... There are so many thoughts crossing my mind, everyday, but am unable to pin it down. For example, this morning, in the Delhi metro, nobody offered their seat to an old woman, she even requested one young girl to get up, as she wasn't feeling too well, but the dame refused. Two minutes later, the old woman had a dizzy spell and fell, I couldn't help asking that dame, how would she have felt if her mother went through a similar situation? She obviously didn't have an answer, but that set me into a thinking mode, not to forget that I was totally upset with such a start to the day. But, come to think of it, what is happening to our society? What happened to values? Respect..Kindness...Compassion... Have people forgotten these words? What are we passing on to our children? Everyday, I get bogged down by such thoughts, because, even if I stick to my guns, and pass on the so called 

My heart goes out to you dear 5 year old. The tender age where you should have been wearing frilly frocks, jumping around, swaying your hair in the breeze, tying it with fancy ribbons, trying to catch the ray of the sun in your soft hands. At that age, you are lying in a hospital, with tubes and needles pierced in your body. The age where you should be eating chocolates, you are being fed liquids through tubes. I am sorry, that you had to lose your innocence at the hands of a sick man. Everyday innocent girls like you are raped and thrown away to die. And I am sorry, that the democracy is being misused by a pervert. He tucked away his children safely, and attacked you brutally. The very thought gives me goosebumps. I cannot fathom your pain. My heart wrenched and I cried reading about your condition. But, unfortunately, that's all I could do. You are in my prayers Angel. I am doing what I can as a responsible citizen, as a Mother, keeping an eye on lil girls in my block. I am ale

There are days when I feel like shaking up few people, for all the lectures they give. And the worst part as my artist friend tells me, that its me who seems to be jinxed to land up meeting such kinds all the time.. These kinds are everywhere. You find them at signals, cribbing about the traffic, if they are Management school pass outs, then you would find them discussing how the government should develop 'strategies' for managing rules, and how they should sit with countries like Singapore or USA and 'share best practices', and these will be the very fine gentlemen who would not think twice before jumping a signal, standing on the zebra line, standing on the extreme left, and take a right. So, basically all that gyaan was for show off and secondly for others. In the domestic scenario, you see a child shouting at his parents, and the parents asking him to be polite, teaching the child not to shout at elders, and the next minute, you would find the lady of the house

So, the weekend's agenda was 'meet the inlaws' - my inlaws. And like many women, inspite of being married for a long time, the 'inlaw' factor still stirs a lot of mixed emotions, though I have learnt my way out and in of nagging situations, my heart continues to beat faster. Anyway, there were lot of children, as it was my nephew's birthday party. The kids were playing, shouting, running, jumping, fighting - exactly in that order. My son. all of 8 is a little sensitive, he hasn't  learnt yet to deal with violent or hyper energetic kids. He kept requesting a kid of his age to stop kicking him, but the other one didn't listen, and as it's famously said, "Survival of the fittest", my son finally kicked back, and blocked him using his karate moves,(at last the technique was put to use)! The fight actually increased, as the other kid now charged with all his might. By the time the elders stopped the fight, that kid had hurt my son, I was ch

How many times has it happened with you that you have had eyes peering on you? Are people jumping to conclusions even before you open your mouth to say something?  The answer is not a NO for sure. I keep wondering what is it with some people? Or is it me who has just woken up from a long coma kinda sleep? Everywhere you see, people are being judged. It's easy to get judgmental. You enter a coffee shop, you have a bunch of eyes scanning you from top to bottom, peering so much, that it makes you think that there are X-ray lenses fitted in the eyes. From the kind of clothes you wear to the way you run your house, handle your children, people seem to be labeling  you, mindlessly, cruelly at times, all this without looking inside their lives and houses. And then these are the same kinda bunch, who give their verdict and then pass on their opinion to others. Then there are people who would rather be someone with an informed opinion than form their own. In English Vinglish, there&#

The kind of things you get to read on facebook these days is hilarious... People post a pic which says, "HIT LIKE if you love your kids" "HIT LIKE if your kids are the blessing in your life" "HIT LIKE if you love your mother/father/brother" etc... So, if you don't 'HIT' "LIKE" you don't love your kids, parents, siblings??? I have a good laugh whenever I see such posts. 

What do you do on days you feel rejected? Judged? Dismissed as someone who is not worthy of any responsibility........ The answers are the same, stay motivated, don't let it bog you down, turn your attention towards something else.......... All said and done, when you are hurt, you are hurt, there is nothing that can distract you from that feeling, you are bound to feel sad, angry, upset.. True, that you cannot sit and mope for days together and eventually, you do move on after that incident, but for that moment, nothing takes your attention away from the miserable feeling....

One of the most important requirements for baking... Clean hands Clean hands Clean hands... Well this I knew, that your hands should be clean, always for us and our family.But in baking, its a necessity. I will tell you why. The flour can get on your clothes and hair, you are not going to look like a million bucks like Nigella from Nigella feasts or Laura from Laura in the kitchen. Please, its very simple. They edit everything, they don't show that the preparations have been already done. The flour or any ingredient, can get anywhere in spite of the apron. It's not about being clumsy. So, put away those designer outfits, so that you can focus on baking than saving your clothes. No matter how good a baker you are, the cake will show its mood swings, it will not rise, especially on the days, you want to bake for someone. Electric mixers have to be practiced with, as the speed can spoil the consistency, I still haven't used one, but this tip was shared by a good frie

Isn't it strange how the first song of the day, sets the mood for the rest of the day, sometimes... I am a music lover, my morning does not begin without music. I get up, and even before I put the pot for tea or coffee, I switch on the radio/iPod. Yesterday, I had randomly created a playlist of Shreya Ghoshal numbers. I like her voice quality, and she is easily one of the finest singers we have, though my all time favourite is Sunidhi Chauhan. Anyway, so I played the list, and I heard her tribute to K J Yesudas, when he completed 50 years of singing in cinema. She sang, 'surmayee ankhiyon mein', it's a beautiful song from the movie Sadma, and it brought back childhood memories. This movie released in 1983, and this song became a lullaby of sorts for my sister and me, as Dad used to sing the tamil and hindi versions alternately. So, the mood for the day was emotional, as I realized, that I had outgrown the lullaby stage, long ago. Life had changed a full 360

I have been celebrating my son's birthday ever since he turned 3. I hosted his first birthday party - with his lil friends and their parents, it was a dinner party, showy with a Tom and Jerry theme etc.. So everything - from the decorations to the cake, to the return gifts, everything was T&J. Party over, lil goody bags handed to tiny tots who came from his nursery group. 4th birthday party - The venue was Pizza Corner, we booked the whole place for couple of hours, the Mamas and their kids were invited, the kids had a ball of a time playing inside the cube, had pizzas, beverages, cake etc.. It was McQueen theme, so from the cake to the return gifts, it was all themed. 5th birthday party - Ice Age theme, guests were asked to wear a blue and white combination to match up the theme. It was a dinner party, this was more elaborate, there was a games coordinator, a tattoo artist, a sketch artist, a balloon moulding guy, a photographer, the cake, the cut outs, the return gifts,

International Women's day! 8th March.. A day to make all the women feel special, thank the special ones for being a part of our lives. So what is it, about us women, that hasn't been written earlier? Poets have dedicated verses about her beauty, singers have sung sonnets describing the effect she has on men, serials and movies are incomplete without her. Sushmita Sen said, "That being a woman is a gift of God. The origin of a child is a Mother - is a woman and its a woman who shares love, who shows what sharing and caring is all about, that according to me is the essence of a woman" True! we(We-Women) show what caring is all about - after all we take care of our parents and inlaws better than the men. We share - from our childhood, we start sharing toys, dolls, chocolates, etc.. We sacrifice - so much that some have even sacrificed their right to education, for their brothers, inspite of the fact, that the brother turns out to be a wayward, good for nothing

 In the daily humdrum of our busy lives, we tend to overlook the little things, I realized that 'again' yesterday. As I walked out of my tower, towards my car, I noticed butterflies in the lawn next to the parking, all these days, everything was brown and dry, due to the winter season, now the winters were melting, the butterflies probably were announcing the arrival! I just smiled, thinking, that everyday I get into my car and I am just focused on reaching the destination, always in a hurry. Actually, its pretty normal. We are always in a hurry, we want everything to be done instantly. Life is always on the go. From picking up your kid, to reading a book, listening to a new song, cooking a new dish, we are always hurrying up. We never stop. I decided to pause yesterday, while driving through my colony, I looked around, noticed flowers sprouting. Grass turning green again. I increased the volume of the music system, listened and hummed along, while enjoying my driving,

28th March... Beauty comes with an expiry date, because beauty products do not come with a 'forever' timeline, then why do women get obsessed with it? One day or the other it's going to leave everyone.. 27th March... Holi - a festival of colours, did the colours say, apply me on selected faces, apply me on a certain caste or creed? 14th March... Government wants to light up deserted streets, to prevent crimes on women at night, what about the rapes, molestations, eve teasings happening diring the day time? March 1.. Wow! I haven't updated my 'notes to myself' in a long time. May 9th.. Mother’s Day – Five years now, since I became a MOTHER, but it still feels different, sometimes its scary, when I see other mothers struggling with their teenagers, and I keep wondering what will I do? How will I be? If    I say that it has only been rewarding, then I would be lying, anybody who says that it has been Great are not being honest about it…how can you

"A 5 year old and a 12 year old, brother - sister were mowed to death by a passenger train on the MP railway tracks, the angry mob burnt the engine driver alive" read the paper lines. As usual my brain started questioning: First of all, what were those two kids doing on a railway track? Apparently, they were playing. For the callous attitude of the parents, the driver had to die a ghastly death. Its a train, even if the driver had applied brakes (which I am sure he would have), it would take some time to take effect, its not a car. Who's fault was it? Today, I was in the Delhi Metro, one of the best innovations that happened to the city :). Anyway, a lady boarded the train with her two kids. The kids were running and playing in the coach, they must have been in the age group 8-12 years. The mother continued to browse on her cell phone. When they were about to reach the destination, both the kids went to the door, and started leaning on it, the side which was to &

It was a horrible day yesterday. A friend told me that another 'friend' had copied two of my blogs on fb, word to word, without editing. She even managed to pull off few compliments. All this, without an iota of guilt. So, I had to go through the ordeal of export-import-delete my blog, and create a new template, an id, a blog name, blog address. Phew! It's not easy to just move from an address I have been using since last 3 years. And everything in just couple of hours. Then had to share the link with my friends, add the links that I read to my reading list. All this trouble because, some person decides to just copy. I do not, I repeat DO NOT under any circumstances, claim to be a 'writer'. I am a very simple woman, who has been sharing her views in writing. Blogging has provided me the space, the freedom to just type down my thoughts, feelings and expressions. Its like a friend, who is a great listener and non judgmental. I dont care, if I write something

Did a little wiki search to refresh my memory, for the exact meaning of P's and Q's. While, one explanation was that it stands for 'P-lease' and 'Thank you', the thank you makes the 'Q' sound hence that, while there was another interesting one which said that in the pubs and taverns of the 17th century, bartenders would keep a watch on the alcohol consumption by the patrons - 'Pints' and 'Quarts', hence Mind your P's and Q's. When I read the second line, the first thought that came to my mind was, "Wow! Concept of pubs was that old?". Well I soon realized that my focus was shifting, so came back to the first explanation. WHAT is with PEOPLE these days? Where are the days when courtesies in general and social courtesies in particular, were given utmost importance? Only and only for this reason I somehow don't appreciate the invasion of mobile phones in our lives. Earlier, when there was only the landline, I remember p

How many times have we come across people who are so frigid about their thoughts that they just refuse to let go? I have met many like that, and some of them I have closely interacted with, also. You find these 'mood spoilers' everywhere, mouthing their venom - like- verdict at kids and adults alike, so much that sometimes I get scared that the flowing acid might actually cause burns. I know these few ladies, who have told their children that Santa Claus doesn't exist, thus robbing them of their innocent fantasies and the joy of writing Christmas wishes on a paper. The same kids, then go around telling everyone, that their Mum said, that there are no Santas. There are people who do not believe in the concept of celebrating birthdays,  their argument, "it's just another day". The birthday song is sung in schools, as the teachers now enthusiastically put up birthday charts, with the month and name and pics of children in their classroom. So, kids are equally exc