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Perceptions or Mis-conceptions... Confused!!

It was 'karwa-chauth' few days ago. When I went to pick up my son from school, I saw the other Mums, dressed in reds, pinks, magentas, all decked up, with mehendi laden hands. As I walked into the the waiting area, I could feel, 10 pairs of eyes staring at me, I turned, and I could even see the question mark clearly on their foreheads.

I smiled and finished my courtesies, while preparing myself to answer the bombardment of questions which were to follow soon. As expected, one asked, "Aaj bhi jeans mein'? Yeah people find it very amusing, when they see me in jeans all the time. Ask my Mum, she will say, if I had my way, I would have born wearing one. Anyway, that's another story, and I will dedicate a page to my love for denims ;). So, I asked her, "Kyun, aaj kuch special hai kya"? (not that I didn't know, but sometimes you can feign ignorance, it's fun). She said, today is karwa - chauth, and I told her that in southern India, we don't have 'karwa-chauth', we do have something similar, but that doesn't require so much of show off, well clearly the second part of the sentence was a thought of my heart, and it would have been very inappropriate to say it aloud. 

She reacted as if I told her that there was a war, "WHAT"????? with her eyes almost popping out. She sized me up and said, "you don't love your husband"??? I said, "No", and laughed. There was another lady standing next to me, a Bengali, she also started laughing. 

I said, what has fasting got to do with emotions? This time I had the scornful look of about 5 women on me, I muttered a prayer, for getting out safely, just then the entry door opened, I was about to thank the Almighty, when the Teacher said, that there will be a delay in sending the kids. Guess God was not favouring me, so I smiled sheepishly and said, look I am a crazy woman, and I don't follow traditions blindly, it has to appeal to me strongly. So she said, fasting is a way of expressing love, I said politely that I don't agree, then I told her, I know some of my friends, who cheat on fasting, and use it as a tool to make their husbands a lil guilty and get gifts from them, then I also asked her, that "do you mean to say that women who don't fast, don't love their husbands/partners?", she fumbled, (half the battle won ;)).

I told the woman who was almost determined to stage a battle there, very nicely, that I believe in 'to each their own' mantra in life, and I do not challenge anyone's beliefs, but at the same time, I don't live in misconceptions and borrowed perceptions. I do not believe that by staying hungry you can increase the longevity of your husband's life. Rather, one lands up with acidity and gastric issues by fasting like this. I said, if this was true, how come men die on karwa-chauth? There are reports in paper, with a dash of Bollywood masala, stating that the wife was waiting for the chaand- her 'chaand', and all she got was the news of her husband's death. Or a married man, raping a minor, or abusing his wife on karwa-chauth. If this tradition is for a long life, then abusers, sadists, and rapists will have a longer stint at continuing what they are doing.

Plus, what do you gain by fasting for an alcoholic wayward good for nothing fellows? happens a lot in lower classes, all the maids who come, have a story of an alcoholic husband, who squanders the wife's earnings in liquor or gambling. Do you really want a longer life for a husband like that? So, what happens to the tradition of 'love' when you get divorced? If you re-marry, the fasting gets transferred is it? So, the fasting done before that is useless? 

I am sorry, I do love my husband, but without any conditions. I don't need a 'karwa-chauth' to prove that. I also don't bother about other's perceptions. thankfully, the kids came out, and I said, happy fasting and feasting and winked, fully knowing that she must have cursed me a lot that day, but I guess, I kinda influenced her thoughts, as she was quiet and pensive throughout the conversation. 

Others in the group have labelled me a 'rebel', that's nothing new for me ;). Their 'Perception' or should I say 'Misconception'.

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