Let's be un-real..

Open up social media these days, my page is bombarded with all these posts on real women.

“A real woman is someone who smiles when she wants to cry”

“A real woman’s strength lies in her nerves of steel”.

“A real woman never gives up”.

“A real woman puts others needs before hers”

“A real woman endures it all and never complains”

I am getting tired of these posts. 

What defines a woman firstly? 

I mean, why are we desperately trying to create a mould? Is this our come back on male strength? 

If that is the case, then we are being silly, because there is no comparison of a woman's endurance with a man. The world knows it. The universe has aligned it like that.

If a woman decides to go out and have fun with friends, is she un-real?

If a woman wants to go shopping, is she un-real?

If a woman feels like eating out and not cook, is she un-real?

If a woman puts her needs first while taking care of others, is she un-real?

If a woman wants to just put her feet up, is she un-real?

Who are these real women? Every woman goes through her share of pain and happiness, trials, and tribulations. From the time a girl is born till the time she dies, everything is decided by the society already. First of all to break free from the societal norms itself is a challenge. We still are fighting for the right to education for girls across the globe. And in our homeland, we are still fighting evils like female infanticide, child marriages, dowry, abuse, rapes etc... And now this. 

I want to understand, who is giving the verdict on who is fit to be a real woman? If the normal homemaker after packing off her kids and husband, decides to sit down and relax with a cup of tea, is she unreal?

Why can't women be just women? Enduring with a smile, going about her life the way she wants and chooses to. Facing challenges with grit, taking them head-on. And if she doesn't want to take challenges then let her not. We are already fighting too many things, still trying to find an equal ground in a patriarchal society. In that, if we start categorizing her into "perfect women" "real women" "true women" "strong women", we are creating a havoc.

Why can't we tell our women that if you want to cry then just cry, it's not going to make you unreal or weak?

If you want to give up, it's okay..come back and try again, maybe you will do it with more rigor and determination this time, and you will still be real.

Why can't we tell her that it's okay to take care of yourself first, especially when you have to be on your toes all the time taking care of others. You will still be strong and real.

And enduring it with a smile does not mean, that you cannot share your thoughts with a friend. It is okay to complain, you don't have to bottle it all up. You will still be real.

Why we as women are creating these pseudo characters? Isn't it time already to hold hands and empower rather than sitting and judging? You cannot possibly change mindsets of a generation before you, but you can always change the present and the future. Isn't it in our hands? It's time do away with these labels, that we are torturing ourselves with.

A woman sipping on her drink, getting her toenails painted while chatting on the phone is as REAL and PERFECT and STRONG as a woman trying to break gender stereotypes at work.  

You don't have to constantly take challenges to prove your strength. You show your strength when you actually face a situation. Other times you will still stay who you are. You my woman will always be the best creation of nature. As beautiful and special as the woman next to you.

And, A REAL woman can be WHATEVER she wants. Truly!