Random nothings!

I want everything to just stand still..feel like playing the 'statue' game. Things are moving so fast, am just gasping for breath, trying to stay on top. While am very happy with the change, professionally, on the personal front, I hate the thought of being uprooted from my domain. Nobody wants to know how I feel. I wish I was asked, "how do you feel?" I feel like a fish out of water.  I feel that my cocoon is breaking, and this time, the breakage would not give birth to a happy butterfly, who would wander about gleefully. This time around the metamorphosis would lead to a tired, distressed butterfly, who would be barely able to pull herself. 

So, the days that went by were fun… Had a dream vacation in Singapore, a blissful trip.. Came bag happy, with loads of goodies. Getting back to the routine was difficult, the first day of work especially, had to literally push myself out of bed. See thats what holiday does to you..sigh! Then I wrote a Thank You message to a friend who helped me by telling me about what to buy and where to buy in Singapore. Protocols need to be followed you see… Am sure, you are cursing me for this line..but, I mean it..  Now, settled in the normal routine again, and dreaming of the next vacation destination  My cousin had a baby girl too..so there are now two Dolls in my house, and my son has suddenly acquired the status of ‘elder brother’, and he is very attached to my sister’s kid, he is very protective about her, of course, the stage of complaints will follow soon, when the lil one grows up, and starts taking his toys and things, that will be a nice phase…actually a fun phase, to see a boy ...

There have been days,,, and nights also, when I have desperately craved for my childhood.. Why is it that when we are children, we look forward to growing up fast, and when we ‘GROW UP’, we want to go back to our childhood days? Funny! isn’t it? I have been told by my parents and relatives that I was a pampered kid. I was the first grandchild in my mum’s house, my grandparents(maternal, i.e), doted on me, and my aunt and uncles fussed about everything -  from the clothes I was to wear, to the chocolates that I should eat…literally everything. Two days before Jan 1st, 2010, when I was making a list of New Year resolutions, that’s something which I love to do every year,, though I don’t keep them or follow all of them   .. I thought of doing something which I like this year..To list out something that I love doing, took me a long time.. You must be thinking, whats new? It sounds so clichéd, anyway..hmmm,, maybe you are right also, but the fact is, besides the strong likes a...

May 9th.. Mother’s Day – Five years now, since I became a MOTHER, but it still feels different, sometimes its scary, when I see other mothers struggling with their teenagers, and I keep wondering what will I do? How will I be? If    I say that it has only been rewarding, then I would be lying, anybody who says that it has been Great are not being honest about it…how can you be happy when your kid is constantly crying or is cranky? Isn’t that a miserable feeling? Anyway, for me motherhood has been a roller coaster ride, and its going to be for a long time… March 30th.. It rained…some respite to a hot weather… March 22nd… The man who pampered me more than my father was my Grandfather…May his soul rest in peace… March 19th.. Cold is really irritating…Whether its a blocked nose or a runny nose..Hate it.. March 11th… My kid is 5 years old today, ..feels like yesterday, when I held that tiny lil thing in my hand.. March 10th… Feels nice to get in touch with an old friend again.. Feb...

Located in the heart of  New Delhi, Karol Bagh has been a shopper’s paradise. Sounds like a sentence from a tourist guide pamphlet, isn’t it?  Its true that its a shopper’s paradise, it also happens to be the place where I was born, and where I grew up, Growing up in those streets was fun. Our house looked dilapidated from outside, but inside was good, the house overlooked a park, and my friends and me would have fun playing Badminton, hide n seek, cycling in the gallis, or just chitchatting on the presswala’s table and gossiping about the boys in the block. All of them played either cricket or football, am sure they have lost count of the number of glass panes they broke then, shouting “ Sorry Uncle! Won’t happen again” and muttering “Saala Buddha” ..Wow! That was FUN. The Punju Aunties dressed up so gaudily,that even Govinda was insecure about losing his “most gaudily dressed star” status., One common thing about them was that they all  looked like footballs, Round was ...

The resolution to drink water has gone down the drain literally, yesterday, I didn’t have a sip of water the whole day, I realized it this morning, as I took a sip, that too because I was parched… Sometimes….all I want is an explanation..not an apology…because the word Sorry has lost it’s meaning… Betrayal – It happens in every relationship, EVERY… It either happens in one big way or in a million little ways..but it happens… Filled with anxiousness today…A feeling of despair… ________________________ My favourite Blue Jeans tore, and it was not in the right place, otherwise I could have flaunted it. “After all a jeans”, commented my friend, “just get it repaired, it would leave a visible darn mark, if you can deal with it, then fine, otherwise throw it”… Hmmm she had a point, in reality our lives are also that, isn’t it? When things go wrong in life, we try to repair it, sure, it does leave a mark.. but it mends, fixes things. Sometimes, certain situations in life are also beyond repai...

Whats letting go? And why is it so difficult? I asked one of my Gyaani friends, So she said, because, you put all your efforts in it and believe it will work, I said isnt that how its supposed to be? Life always has other plans, so why is it hard to believe that we have failed? Thats because you are  already convinced that your decision is the best and the outcome will be, like the way you expected and you forget that, other people think in the same way and you want to believe that what ever you do will be acknowledged. This is how you Let Go, you have to believe that you can fail, that you have failed, Life goes on, it doesn’t stop for anyone. Once something happens in our life, we don’t forget, even relationships are the same, we can never get out of them, no matter how many new people we meet,..that person and those moments we always cherish, and only we know how we feel about it, we cannot share it and we cannot undo it…

Getting bored..so thought of listing out my favourite things.. When I say favorites..The first thing that comes to my mind is COFFEE..Ah!!.. I just love the smell, the taste..and the way it makes me feel..It has to be perfect, it has to be strong, it has to be hot and with just a pinch of sugar..Thats my cuppa.. The colors blue and white.. White makes me feel at peace, blue makes me happy… Books – I can read many, anytime… Movies..Love the experience of watching it in the theatre..with caramel popcorn, and jumbo PEPSI.. Travelling…Though haven’t traveled to places I wanted to yet..someday am sure I will..I love travelling.. Music….all the time..any time.. Smell of the earth..when it rains.. Shopping…I don’t know any woman who hates it.. My blue jeans… Watches… I have few and am collecting more… Silver jewellery..especially silver earrings.. I love clicking pictures…capturing the moments forever.. I love watching the rain.. I love  beaches..they fascinate me..the ting...

Reached home, as usual, half dead, ready to fall like a corpse on the bed, and gaze at nothing for few minutes.. Got up, showered, made my cuppa, plonked myself on the couch, while surfing channels, came across Wake Up Sid!, cute movie, it was about to end, I actually love the last scenes of that movie. While watching it, I realized, that each of us as an individual can relate to lot of characters in the movies, somewhere a lil bit of us is hidden in those characters,.. Couple of months ago, when ‘I hate Luv Story’s’ released, a friend messaged me on FB saying, that I SHOULD watch this movie, because, she found an element of me in Imran Khan’s character, this was from a person who knew me from school, we were and are really close. She found an element of me in “Jay”, intrigued!!! Needless to say, I went and saw the movie, “Jay” was a non-believer in love, according to him, there was no such thing as ‘LOVE’, which was so hyped up in bollywood movies, yes, that was one thing which was co...

Few days ago, one of my neighbor’s daughter passed away, she was hardly 40, she had given birth to premature baby, and No, the delivery was not the cause of her death, in fact she died 45 days after the delivery, due to fluctuating BP. Her death was sudden, as far as I remember she was a very sweet lady, I had interacted with her when she used to visit her mother here in my colony in Bangalore. I went to pay my condolences to Aunty’s house, she held my hands, and cried, she was inconsolable, I fought my tears, I didn’t want her to cry more.. While walking back home, I thought, “Life!!! Is this it???”, it’s so damn unpredictable. The lady who died, must have had so many wishes, especially revolving her new born, and then I thought, I have so many wishes and desires – unfulfilled. What if I were to die suddenly? God, I would be one of those restless souls. There are tasks undone, phone calls unanswered, messages which need reply, things in the house which need my attention.. My family – ...

Lot of things amuse me… 1. When I walk into the kitchen, and look around with a blank expression, not remembering what I came for in the first place… 2. A shocked look on a person’s face when they get to know that I “drink’, they make me feel as though, I have a drinking problem… 3. Frantically searching for my fav coffee mug, and finding it inside the fridge..don’t ask me how it went there, I wanted to place it in the microwave… 4. Switching on the TV with the intention of folding the heap of clothes, but finally, get engrossed in changing channels for atleast an hour, and the heap still lying on the couch… 5. Eagerly, opening the blog, and staring at it… 6. Yelling at my kid for something that he has not done… 7. Getting crazy mood swings during PMS and after that, which obviously leaves the man in the house confused… 8. Getting up startled, only to realize that I still have 5 hours to sleep before I actually wake up… 9. Making a pact of not to splurge on more bags and junk, and gett...

Hoping that someone understands my dilemma… Nobody takes me seriously when I tell them that, I cannot carry a saree, leave alone carry a saree, I can’t even tie it. I know, that being an Indian woman, tying a saree should come to me as naturally, as a fish to water. But, puh-leze… I can’t, I sincerely tried, ok. My sister taught me the tricks, step by step guide to pleating it, I started with the first fold, by the time I reached to the third, the first had slipped, oh gosh! What the hell am I gonna do? Few days ago, my mother said, “What’s the big deal? we have been doing all our house-work in this saree, those days, wearing anything else besides a saree was a big NO NO! I don’t understand why you girls today can’t get off your stupid jeans?”, and I just sighed….alas! nobody understands my dilemma, forget understanding it genuinely, no one even pretends to. Every time I talk about my difficulty of draping the six yard fabric, am mocked at, some people think, am throwing an unnecessary...

Ever wondered why when you ask a woman, “So, what do you do?”, she replies, “Oh! I am just a housewife”, one can almost, sense the undertones of regret in that statement. I was ‘just-a-housewife’ till sometime back and I haven’t regretted being one… What is wrong in being one? For people who think, housewives are jobless, they really need to open the windows of their mind and rub their eyes to see things clearly. When you are working, you only have one role, a role which is well defined, and you have to report to one higher authority, unlike a HOUSEWIFE , who’s role is never well defined, and she has to report to many people, age group ranging from a 1 year old to an 80 year old, this within the family, there are external authorities also by the way, who come like Income Tax Officers, to judge your house and make notes about your expenses. From making the morning tea to washing the dirty linens (literally), to giving it to the local presswalla, to arranging wardrobes, deciding the ...

“For oft, when on my couch I lie In vacant or in pensive mood, They flash upon that inward eye Which is the bliss of solitude; And then my heart with pleasure fills, And dances with the daffodils”. “I wandered lonely as a cloud” – William Wordswoth…. In my solitude, thats exactly what I do… I float, my thoughts wander, and the feeling is blissful, because, the thoughts are mine, I don’t need to share it with anyone, and I don’t mind wandering alone then…